Most people are dangerous behind the wheel

This is a bit of a rant because the Easter long weekend has reminded me of all the things that freak me out about road trips and driving habits in general. My ideas about things you just shouldn’t do:

1. Try to text whilst doing 110 down the F3
2. Pull out in front of someone in the right overtaking lane with only metres to spare whilst you are both doing at least 110 down the F3 and they’re probably texting
3. Expect that flashing your lights and beeping behind someone travelling only, say, 108 in a 110 zone on the F3 whilst you’re both in the right lane but they have nowhere to merge into the left lane, will produce a satisfactory result and not, more likely, end in carnage
4. Repeat 3 except swap “108” with “stationary”, swap “110 zone on the F3” with “60 zone on Harris Street”, swap “you’re both in the right lane” with “you’re both in the middle lane except they’re almost sideways and indicating to get into the right lane”
5. Think that travelling a nanosecond behind someone whilst you’re both doing over 110 in the right (overtaking) lane and they tap the brakes means you should proceed as normal and not reduce your speed

Fuck, I had to drink wine after all that – I might sound like a drama queen but geez I feel lucky to be alive.

And that’s just my driving, don’t get me started on everyone else ; )